moved to Evanston (Chicago) Illinois to attend Northwestern University. From this point onwards, my training under Master Mollica obviously becomes limited to the few months here and there when I am able to return to Columbus. I do, however, treasure what I have learned from this wonderful teacher and attempt to continue to practice on my own.

began to practice Zazen at Park Ridge (Body Awareness Center) Tuesday nights and one Zazen-kai per month. Chozen-ji(Hawaii)/Tenryu-ji(Kyoto, Japan) lineage Rinzai Zen

Completed PADI Medic First Aid and Rescue Diver Certifications at Bob Soto's, Grand Cayman, BWI

Completed my 10 sessions of Zen Body Therapy
very nice process, you can feel the change in your body after each session and benefits seem to increase with each subsequent session. Awareness of your body and your posture are probably the most notable changes. On the 10th session I had an out of body or trans-temporal experience.

Attended my first Zen Sesshin(intensive meditation period), location: Belmont, duration: 4 days, abbot: Hosokawa Roshi (Chozen-ji, Hawaii)
this was also a life changing experience. It was really great to have a chance to talk to Hosokawa Roshi and to hear some really meaningful advice which motivated me to really get working on my final projects to finish my undergraduate career with a bang. I must also add that every time that I observed Hosokawa Roshi doing calligraphy I was on the point of tears at seeing such beauty unfold before my eyes.
- The first day was pretty easy,
- The second night I could not bear the pain of sitting any longer (your legs can get VERY sore).
- The third day I had more resolve and techniques to get through the sitting periods without moving. (began to formulate that the pain was not so much of a physical pain in the moment, but rather a mental pain of projecting and extrapolating the present pain into an unknown amount of future time. I would thus ask myself "does it hurt so much that I must move at this instant?"... "can I endure for 1 more second?" and the answer was always "Yes")
- The fourth day I was overflowing with empathy, had tripping and rolling sensations, things were a bit super real or slow motion when I finally returned to the outside world... soooo tired that I fell asleep in a detoxification bath.

Graduated from Northwestern (dept. of radio tv and film). Left Chicago and thus discontinued (for now) my training at Choyokan, Park Ridge, Belmont, and Dempster.

attended an intensive 5 day Shaolin Chi Kung workshop with Master Wong Kiew Kit
experienced single pointed mind, cosmic energy flow, energetic, happy, relaxed... unfortunately the dramatic results were initially really hard to (re)produce on my own after the course had finished.

spent 7 days in the mountains of Sri Lanka (close to Kandy) at the Nilambe Buddhist Meditation Center (sitting, walking, and working meditation, lots of silence, beautiful views, and 2 hours of yoga a day to break up the sitting)
Felt that my meditation was out of practice and kind of weak (compared to the end of the Sesshin at Belmont). The pain was not nearly as bad as it had been in the past (thanks to Hosokawa Roshi's advice to move my computer to a low table and sit on a meditation cushion/posture while using it). did have many interesting insights as to my personality, however. I realized that I am more self indulging, self absorbed, and vain than I was previously conscious of. Improved my ability to be aware of the current moment. Discovered the ability to stop music stuck in my head. Found that I have a tendency to repeat self-reflective thoughts or cognition. Also found that the essence of a thought is entirely known the moment that it occurs, but that my normal mind waits until it has been translated into a sentence and then spoken as an internal dialogue or statement before I am consciously sure of said thought. I believe that this is a waste of time and energy and that with some training I should be able to have only the essence of the thought come to consciousness directly; without prior being "spoken aloud", as it were, in my head.
*special note: was finally able to realize the full lotus position after about a year and a half of wishing that I could.

Only 15 days before returning to the USA from Sri Lanka, I finally found a kung fu school. You might be skeptical at first, but I really feel that there is some good training going on at the Sri Lanka Wushu Academy headquarters... which looks like a cross between a Sri Lankan temple and a Chinese Wushu school. The academy sends student to China regularly to receive training in specialties such as sanshou or form performance. As a critique, I can say that their training seems to be pretty external, but of a high standard of quality as far as modern wushu goes. After meeting with the head Shifu I was accepted as an intensive short term student. I trained 3 hours a day for my remaining 14 days in Sri Lanka. I feel that this really jump started my physical fitness (to a new level).

During this time I continued to practice my Yoga and Chi Kung and I feel that they were all mutually beneficial. The Yoga allowed my sore body to remain limber and to become less sore (the first 4 days were filled with muscular pain as my body was not used to training longer than about an hour and my Iron Tiger Kung Fu's stances are not a low as the Mantis form which I learned here), the Chi Kung assisted in relaxing my body and breath control during the form practices. Some spontaneous chi movement also helped to work on a body that was at times sore and stiff in the morning or in the evening. I was left feeling cheerful and amazingly energetic day after day. All in all a great way to finish my time here in Lanka and I can't wait to continue my Shugyo after returning to the States.

May 2002 -

Returned to the USA, resumed Shaolin Iron Tiger Kung Fu and Shuai Chiao training under Master Mollica in Columbus, and attended the Spring Sesshin with the Chozen-ji Illinois Betsuin in Chicago/Evanston. Experienced a lot of reverse culture shock upon returning to the States after 9 months abroad. Good to be studying under Master Matt Mollica again.

Spring Sesshin was a bit of a disappointment for two reasons. I thought that the yoga, zazen, and kung fu that I had been doing in Sri Lanka would have allowed me to yield "greater results" than those experienced during my first sesshin... or at least something similar to the first sesshin or the experience at Nilambe. First of all, I was able to sit MUCH BETTER this time than ever before... I didn't have to construct a thrown of cushions as I had done during the first sesshin, and I even broke out the full lotus on occasion, so I definitely had a better hold on the physical and mental pain. In contrast to my other experiences, however, there was absolutely no euphoria whatsoever. In retrospect, this is probably a good thing as the euphoria is just another phenomenon... I guess that I came to see that euphoria is not the point of Zen training and that suffering and uneventful activity are just as prevalent as pleasure. I also feel that I could have made greater efforts... more kiai.

I go back in forth on my stance on this; probably because of my dual Soto / Rinzai back ground. Sometimes I try to just relax and absorb it all and other times I attempt to be somewhat forceful or intensive (though, as of late, I am attempting to have that intensive feeling without putting undo tension in the body). Hopefully I will be able to put my life on the line (sit with an intensity as if my life depended on it) during the 7 day sesshin in Hawaii in July.

The 2nd disappointment came on the final day when we made our calligraphy on rice paper. Hosokawa Roshi goes around and makes comments about your level of physical, mental, and spiritual development, what is strong, what needs improved, et cetera. My disappointment was that the exact same comments were made this year as last... nearly verbatim. Because I was so exhausted from the Sesshin, I took this pretty hard. I wondered why I hadn't improved in the last year despite my activities. Like many others, after I got over the shock, I resolved to redouble my efforts... but the trick is to actually improve your efforts as opposed to just entertaining the idea of it. It is my ongoing battle to make better use of my time and to maintain, or indeed increase, my efforts.

Attended the Summer Dai Sesshin at Chozen-Ji in Honolulu Hawaii... as I now sit down to comment on this, well over a year has passed and I can say with certainty that it was a traumatic experience that has taken a lot of time and reflection to catch up with, or to heal from... maybe both. I won't go into too many details here but I will give a brief overview... a taste of that week. As one might guess, I was a very demanding environment every instant of every day presented itself as an opportunity for senior students and zen masters to strike at your ego with all of the conventional arsenal of a shugyo centric zen temple. Of course the setting was beautiful and in reality the chastisements that rain upon you are well meaning... but I can't help but feel a sort of dread when I think of that time or that place. The week ended much like the "disappointment"of the previous post... but even more so. At the time of calligraphic critique I was completely spent and heard the words "This is not calligraphy.. this is insanity, if you continue like this you're going to go insane."

Seeing as how there were no suggestions of what to do to improve the situation, I took an eight month break from all things zen, devoting myself to my kung fu studies with Master Mollica.

July 2003 -

Went to Japan to marry Yukiko, who is now my wife. While there I had many great shugyo experiences which you will be able to read about in my literature gallery: "Everything that you wish that you had learned in Japanese class about Japanese society before marrying a Japanese." We also went on a bit of a pilgrimage visiting many temples and making an extra effort to see some zen temples (including Tenryu-Ji which is where both Omori Sogen Rotaishi and Hosokawa Roshi had trained).